Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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