Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I don't think brook has ever known best
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
