Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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