I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
