I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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