i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
