Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
