Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Someone signed my nipple.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
