He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
