Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
