I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
