hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
