At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Dicks are not precious.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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