did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
