Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
