Rock
Scissors
Fuck
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
