Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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