its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
