i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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