You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
