I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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