The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
