I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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