It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
