Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
