either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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