I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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