btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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