dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
