For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
