found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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