So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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