what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
