just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
