I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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