i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
