I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
