so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
