Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
