Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
bring money and cleavage
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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