forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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