I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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