he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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