Can Purell be used as lube?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
