Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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