Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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