i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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