are you still at the devil's house?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
