i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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