She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
