she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
