when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
